Where is the hickey?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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