mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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