Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
