I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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