No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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