No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
