so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
