During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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