We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize