I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
