Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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