Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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