Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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