Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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