You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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