i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
