i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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