just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Randomize
