I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
