Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
