I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
