if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
