Dual....:-)
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
