Fuck appropriateness.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize