i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
