Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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