you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have aggressive nipples.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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