The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
