You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
