Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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