that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize