Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
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