Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
