Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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