I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Girls should come with a carfax report
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize
