Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
