ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
