dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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