dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize