i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
