But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
