You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
