let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
