why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
