are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
