So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
