took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
