You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
