tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
