Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
