apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
