So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
