Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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