We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize