at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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