Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize