i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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