I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
