Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize