I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
