So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
