I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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