i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
