brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
