Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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