Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize