I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize