our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
