Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
