I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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