doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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