Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize