he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
