MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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