He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
