White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
