i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
