if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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