I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She told me I should be a condom model.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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